This is getting really old

PERPLEXED. Nothing best describes how I feel about what happened between us better than that. I can barely remember what we talked about the last time. All I remember is you telling me how you weren’t happy anymore, and how you didnt want me to fight for us, and how it might be better for us to just be friends, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

 FRIENDS. Yeah, right. I believe you cant be friends RIGHT AWAY with your ex. Especially if you’re still in-love with him/her. I cant pretend to be your friend when I know I want to be more than that. I cant stand seeing you happy and dating new girls and pretend that it’s alright with me because its not. I cant be your friend because you’ve hurt me, because you’ve disappointed me and because you gave up on me.  We cant be friends, just NOT NOW. Maybe we can be friends when Ive moved on completely, when Im not hurt and angry anymore for what you did to me, when I fully accept that we can no longer be together anymore, when I can finally say that “Im happy for you” with sincerity when I see you with your new girl. When Im ready, I’ll come around and mybe by then, we can be FRIENDS.

US. There’s no more us. And chances are, there won’t be an “us” in the near future. You don’t seem to be interested at all in working things out or reconnecting, or pretty much having to do anything with me at all. And honestly, I’m tired of trying.

 TIRED. I’m so tired of trying to figure things out; trying to understand what to believe and what not to believe. I’m so tired of seeing you all the time and seeing a completely different person each time. In fact, just thinking of you completely tires me out that I just wind up pushing away thoughts of you.

 THOUGHTS. Sometimes I get these thoughts… What if one day you realize you made a mistake when you decided to end it? What if one day you decide you want to get back together? Truth is, I’m not even sure I would want you to. I’m not even sure I would take you back.

 TRUTH. The truth is, I still love you. I think I always will. But the truth is, maybe we’re both really better off without each other. The truth is, I hope I’ll stop caring and writing about you ‘cause this is getting really old.


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